Uninvited

Tonight I am starting a Bible study by Lysa Terkeurst. It is for the 'living loved when you feel less than, left out and lonely.'  Most of the time now, I don't worry about feeling left out so much, but I grew up feeling unloved and unwanted. My parents divorced, I went to live with an aunt and I felt abandoned by my mother.

In the church sometimes I feel like I don't have a part anymore.  We used to stay so busy (too busy) with

church activities but as we have aged, we just don't have the energy to help with things anymore.

I do think there is a "clique" of people that do everything. Getting into that group, you have to be involved in some area of ministry. We don't get any calls, visits or invites from this clique.

For me now, I love being at home, I have responsibility to my family, and it is ok that I don't go to church or get involved in church every night of the week.

My main focus now is loving God, getting to know Him.  I read a quote late from a Bible study on

Song of Songs.  "striving couldn't make Jesus love me more, through years of tender care and collisions with His Word, I am learning that security flows out of devoted love."  Yes!